Updated: Mar 10
Boy, you made it to 27 - Gaarreeeyyy Dey! You a dangerous man!
You are learning who you are and whose you are! GO HEAD BOY!
(This is how I talk to myself - it's as authentic as I come, so hear me out.)
What's going on playa! Don’t downplay yourself my dawg! You are full of life. You’ve overcome so much. You deserve to be happy and don't let nobody make you think otherwise. Don’t take your journey for granted. Do not take the timing of events so lightly. Imagine all the times where you thought it wouldn’t work out and yet it did. Boy, you better keep walking - your journey ain over just yet, my friend. You got work to do outchea!
This birthday is definitely a revelation that hurdles can become checkpoints. We can embrace the barriers that we never thought that we would overcome. We can be tempted and offered avenues of escape. We can be at our lowest and still experience the brand new mercies that God has for us. In order to operate best with others, you must first know how you want to operate with your own self. Sometimes we often place our standards and expectations on others, not realizing if the other person even has the capacity to hold us in that way. So in this chapter of your life, how will you hold you? What will it mean to carry you through life? What will it mean to see you through your transitions of life? Although you aren't completely sure, it's okay. You don't have to be sure about your future - but you are accountable for it. It is not yours to plan but it is yours to live.
This post is another vulnerable one. All up in my business - but this is really God's business. I have to take "me" out of the equation - so here it goes.
Last year I started therapy and I LOVED IT! It was needed. For the context of this post, I went to therapy/counseling in college but hated it! I was like, "What in the world am I doing here? I don't need no therapy. I can fix myself." I wasn't open to the dialogue at the time and it really made me even more depressed because I felt like a defect of human being - I thought something was wrong with me, and only me. I questioned why God would even take the time to create me. Come on, an immature mind never wants to accept that something is wrong with them - that they don't have life worked out and are capable of making mistakes from lessons they thought they learned. It wasn't on the therapist. It really was on me. I did not enjoy it because I did not appreciate myself. I hated being reminded of my problems and things I never reconciled with to truly move forward in life. I'm so glad I finally was able to work through that. I'm so glad I spent some time working on me.
My personal struggles stifled my interactions with others - making me much more closed off, hardened in my heart, and emotionally unavailable to the things that life truly had to offer. I realized that I was lost for so long and did not know what I needed. To be honest, I didn't know what to even expect from the world. My mental was not in a great spot but it's in a much better place now. People think therapy is such a bad thing but we aren't afraid to admit that we went to a party to let go of stress, to the mall to embrace our self care, to our friend's house to lay up with that somebody to scratch that itch, or out of the country to find the peace we already have within. I needed help and didn't know I needed it - others took their chances with me, so in turn, I took a chance on myself. Again. Again. And again. One day it would work out. I knew it would. There goes that persistent faith again - believing in something that has not worked itself out yet.
Never go through life looking for validation from others when that resides within. The stigmas of the world are based on what's "appropriate" at the time and it's okay to go against the grain to redefine appropriation to you. Life has meaning to you and your view point is perspective needed to shape the world differently.
I know what I've experienced. I know what I'm saying. So, here's my perspective.
While in therapy I did an exercise that allowed me to reflect on standards I wanted to have for myself. These standards are qualitative, as there is no amount of money or things that can grant you a great life - only a great heart and soul. One that serves not just yourself, but others in the world. Healing broken individuals by allowing yourself to be seen as broken - shattered - and completely transparent for who you are. Knowing that in the right moment, God will grant you His favor and allow His light to shine in unexpected places - giving birth to some of the greatest ideas that will bring people together for His name sake.
They are as followed:
the ability to speak my truth and be fair in regards to other perspectives of life.
Creating & Seeking Peace
with myself and others ; not carrying malice, hate, or resentment in my heart.
indulging in your talents and gifts to create a world you want to live in. I am my narrative and have the ability to rewrite a script of life.
over things that will not matter ; in hindsight, giving control back to myself over myself.
not being confined by the standards of the world or others ; knowing that I am enough and have the power to be free. The power to be me.
having an appreciation of what exists in the ‘now’ ; believing that flowers bloom from seeds planted in the moment. Also, knowing that my life is good ground and capable of producing a plentiful harvest.
being a light in dark places but always aware that every candle may not be lit. You don't need a reason to love.
As I practiced these standards, I realized they would not be easy, but they will be worth it. Give yourself grace on your journey. Be at peace with yourself. Most of all, continue developing the life that you want for yourself and for others to live in when they come around you. Make them feel safe, make them feel at home, make them feel loved, but most of all, allow them to feel all the things you’ve longed for - let them know it is possible to love and be loved. Everybody has problems or will experience some type of hurdle in life, but everybody does not take the time to truly work through them. That space in between is enough to make a difference - for you and someone else that needs to see a new way of doing life.
Keep embracing your journey. Remember, it is not yours to plan but it is yours to live.
What defines how you will live yours?
All love and respect,